Monday, October 12, 2009

Do I Have Another One in Me?

I have been asking this of late. Not another child (Katy makes those decisions) but another big venture. Ten years ago, you see, I burned with the desire to grow a large-ish social venture. I ached for success. I wasn't very happy. Speaking Up was kind-of therapy.

Today, I want to burn with the same ire. But, in truth, I don't. Not just yet anyway. Life has somehow got in the way. I am a lot happier now. I have, sort-of, proved myself. To myself and to others. My interests are more diverse. My energy levels are not quite what they were. I have grown conscious of the limits of organisations. I now understand that resources do not solve problems.

If I don't go on to do another one, however, part of me will feel rueful. There are, I know, a queue of financiers out there looking for great new ventures. I could put together a team relatively easily. I know so much more now than I did then. I could, I am sure, make a much bigger splash this time round.

So will I? At the moment, I am thinking probably not. Working with others who are doing the leading - perhaps. Non-exec-ing - certainly. Advising, consulting, I am probably your man. But doing it all again? Not easy to imagine. You never know, a long holiday, a bit of respite from fatherhood, a bit of premature hair-loss and, who knows, I may be all revved up again. Yet it seems distant and `other' right now.

Which, on one level is right pain - as a lost part of me wants to be an entrepreneur again. But on another, is probably a sign that I am now, ten years on, boringly normal.

1 comment:

rharris said...

Well, from what i know of you Craig i am sure you have something in you, but probably something different to building an organisation. Probably something more reliant on you and your interpersonal skills, and not necessarily about bringing a gaggle of people together and getting them working.
On a personal level i am in a similar situation and i know i dont want to do it again - the rewards (career and financial) have been good, but todays framework of procurement in the public sector has changed a lot - and realistically i dont think i could set up my organisation now, like i did 10 years ago. We have become pseudo public sector organisations sadly; we have been forced to act like them, be accountable in the same way as them, and to a large degree dance to their tune to keep contracts.
For these reasons any future business venture for me will be about me and my skills (ie consultancy) or it will be pitched in the commercial sector where the rules are pretty much the same but the margins are better and more realistic, and more often than not, the best team wins the contracts.